You say it’s your birthday…

My husband’s family were mostly teachers. His mother was a Kindergarten teacher until she had her own kinders.

His aunt taught U.S. History to junior high students and later became a lifetime (apparently!) religious ed principal.

His sister taught Histology and other sciences (and Kara-te); her high school teen health text book was recently published.

His father taught typing to junior high students at both levels by day, and transcribed books into Braille by eve. Hence, I’m sure my husband hasn’t forgotten any of the uber-QWERTY tutelage he’d have received, but otherwise, I think he may be the most technologically-challenged person in America.

And now, today!, he is 70. Right — age is just a number. Old dogs can learn new tricks. However, Internet apathy is forever! We will not be allowed to live (and die!) without being plugged into the WWW. I’m alright with that — what haven’t I done on a computer — but he is way behind the curve.

I can sometimes help, so, one more famous index-card note from the ol’ ball-and-chain has issued forth: a 6-step guide to accessing his business and our personal online banking accounts.

At his 70, he’s tired, head to toe, inside and out. It’s both deserved and not at all. 70 is the new 49, after all, give or take a year. “His 70” means with all the checks he (still!) writes and all the over-the-phone and automatic payments, he’s not tracking things closely anymore. He just withdraws from our savings and deposits into his business checking until he’s sure everything is square.

Is that a “first world problem” or what?!

Well, here’s another: Thanks to Covid and its varing variants, I can’t spring a huge party on him as I and the rest of us did for his 60th. Just before I dared the invitations back then, he hadn’t been expected to make it. Everyone, thus, was dying to come help celebrate him.

His sister brought grass skirts for all, and whereas he is always adding unto his rock walls around the perimeter and gardens, I asked everyone to just bring him a signed rock (try that sometime — folks LOVE it!)

Indeed, he made it through that 2nd roof-fall, and a third, a hip replacement, and then, prostate cancer.

He so deserves a big 70th-worthy party but fate decrees elsewise. We did go out to dinner with the fam the other night to celebrate it, and he recently visited his sister and her husband who feted him with birthday celebrations, gifts, and his favorite of all, loads of company.

Tonight, it’ll just be us 8 and hot dogs. And presents. And a huge portion of leftover sheet cake from a friend’s grandbaby shower. Target may carry grass skirts, right? Floral leis? He loves new traditions. Any! Always! For sure, though, I’d better go check the color of the current hot dog rolls…. time flies.


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